I talk to myself...do you?

I know...it sounds weird but it is so, so true! I spend a vast majority of the day talking to myself. Not just thinking, but actually talking out loud! 

I do it because I need to. For so long I was such a negative person - talking down to myself, talking about others in negative ways, judging people I'd never met, and just basically being miserable! It wasn't a good existence. Over the last two years, as I have lost the weight, gained a love for barre3, and had to focus on myself more than ever before, I feel like I have truly changed but it hasn't been without a lot of work!

Throughout the last few years I have spent a lot of time talking to myself. It used to be all negative and sometimes still occasionally is, lets be real...we are our toughest critics. That's why this post is happening. The last two months after my second shoulder surgery have been rough. With no exact date to my barre3 ban known, a basic lack of motivation and without my friends being off of work at the same time of me - leading to boredom I'm definitely feeling deflated. Then the other day I YELLED at myself - SNAP OUT OF IT! Things aren't as bad as you think!!! And that was when I realized how negative I was being. Here's a few of the examples of how I talk to myself...

~ You just had surgery so your arms are supposed to look like that.
~ If you eat cheese, you will get zits. Don't eat the cheese.
~ You can go to the gym for an hour. If you were at your best you'd be going to barre3 for an hour. That's the same amount of time, just a different activity.
~ You don't need Burgerville. Especially when you are by yourself in the car. If you're going to eat fast food - always eat it with others to be accountable.
~ Stop avoiding something you should really be doing! {I was funneling cheese into a smaller container when I was supposed to be writing a letter of rec}
~ You've already walked for 30 minutes, turn on another Sex & The City episode and continue walking!
~ Don't text while driving. You don't want to get hurt or hurt anyone else
~ Sit up straighter.

These are just a few examples from the past few days!

Do you talk to yourself either out loud or in your head? I think we all have some sort of self talking go on - especially when it comes to foods!

Fingers crossed {that my self talk becomes more and more positive}!!!

{30 thoughts} it's not all sunshine & rainbows!

I have been inspired by two of my favorite bloggers, Chelsea & Cardigans and Couture, who have been "keeping it real" in some of their recent blog posts!! I tend to post the happy milestones, the "good for me" pictures of food, and positive words of encouragement. But, as we all know, life isn't all sunshine and rainbows {though I wish it was}!!!

Here's some {funny} things I've done over these past 23 months. I use the term funny, loosely in most of these instances.

- Sometimes I think that if no one sees me eat something, it doesn't count.

- I drive around the block 2 times when I feel the urge for fast food. Usually by the time that is done, I don't have that craving anymore.

- I eat brown sugar out of the storage container. Not every day but usually every week.

- I eat cheese when I know I shouldn't. Sometimes getting a zit is worth the taste.

- I learned what buckwheat, quinoa, stevia, and so many more food items are.

- Skittles. Enough said.

- I have been known to eat crutons when there aren't craackers in the house. I just need that crunch. Though I'm pretty sure crutons aren't healthy for you but it goes on salad so...yeah...

- Occasionally (well, often if I was telling the truth) I grab my stomach and jiggle/wiggle it around.

- There are 4 "health" books that are sitting on my shelf with book marks about 1/4 of the way through them. 50 Shades of Grey is more entertaining!!

- The first time I took a picture of the scale I didn't realize it was glass (and that I take my pictures directly after getting out of the shower). Think reflection. I almost posted it but noticed it just in the nick of time!

- Since shoulder surgery I have been sleeping in a nightshirt. Yes, the button up the front kind. I needed to sleep in one so the sling didn't rub my skin raw. I am now addicted to mine - much to my husband's dismay.

- I now check my butt out in any reflective surface.

- When food in the Ziploc containers gets moldy, I throw them away. 

- I still eat pizza & doughnuts. And that's okay, sometimes.

- Every few months I think I'll be able to handle having "snack food" in the house. This usually means crunchy snacks {not chips, more like NutThins}. I cannot have these in the house. I will eat the whole box - in one day. No joke.

- I day dream about the food I used to eat.

- I like looking in the mirror and making my collar bones show. I'm plotting what shirt I can wear on Friday for school pictures that will enable my collar bones to show.

Fingers crossed {that there are more sunshine & rainbow moments than not}...