Showing posts with label off the wagon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label off the wagon. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

there's been a lot going on!!!

*a week off the wagon*
I had a week off the wagon, the week after Thanksgiving to be exact. I had been put on "barre3 rest" by my physical therapist because I strained my bicep tendon and kept using it so it kept hurting! For some reason...I couldn't get it together and ended up reverting back and sitting on my ass all day every day for a week. BUT I continued to eat well and didn't gain anything...

*no milk - minimal to no cheese*
For the past 2 months I've been milk free almost all of the time. There are still some items (prebought/processed) that I am sure still has milk in it but I haven't had cows milk from the carton in over 2 months. The milk was pretty easy to give up. Since I've stopped drinking cows milk I haven't had a single acne point on my scalp/in my hair. For, oh, the last 15+ years I've had acne in my hair. That's right... And now it's gone. All the way gone. I'm amazed.
 
The cheese...well, that's a different story. I've really, really {really} struggled to get off that. I've been off about 95% of the way for the past two weeks and I haven't gotten a new zit on my face since! It is amazing. My goal now is to reintroduce cheese in small, controlled amounts to see how much I can tolerate.
 
I'm not exactly sure what it is in the milk and cheese that made the acne stop. My PCOS specialist told me to try to stop - so I did. I definitely need to look more into the "why" part of it. But it's working so I'm not in a hurry ;-)
 
the cheese drawer. i pretend it isn't there.
 
*my first soy {anything}*
Last weekend we were out & about near Seattle {happy retirement to my father-in-law!!!} and stopped off at a coffee shop for breakfast. While there I decided to try my first soy hot chocolate. I needed a treat, or so I felt. And since it was a coffee shop, and not Starbucks, I decided it would be worth it. It was good...but some friends have suggested I try almond milk next time...which I will!
 


 *50th barre3 class*
On 11/19/12 I took my 50th barre3 class. It was also my last one before I was "barred from barre3". As I've written before, barre3 has changed my life. I've lost inches, pounds, and insecurities. I've gain peace, some balance, and a place I can go and be happy. There is nothing bad about barre3, nothing.
 
left: April 2012 {before barre3}
right: November 2012 {50th barre3 class day}
-17.15 inches off my body from the left picture to the right picture
 
With all that's been going on with report cards, stresses at work, stresses at home, money, Christmas, presents, and battles within myself I'm super proud of the fact that I've lost 5 pounds in the last 8 weeks. Only 4.2 pounds to go until my HUSBAND has to go to barre3!!! He agreed {well, he didn't have a choice} to join me. And two of the other instructors have volunteered their husbands too!!!
 
*standing up for what i believe in*
At the end of November there was a story about a woman named Siobhain Fletcher who ha PCOS and grew a beard for Movember...the event where men grew mustaches to support prostate cancer. I thought it was SSSOOO brave of her to stand up, speak out, and support a good cause. In my eyes she was SO brave. Brave to do it and brave to speak out about it. Then...the women of "The Talk" on CBS played this clip. I was disgusted!!! How could they make fun of this woman who was so brave? They compared her to Larry the Cable Guy. I seriously had tears in my eyes and was hoping that she will never see the clip! I said my peace on their facebook page...but I hope they take me up on my offer {or someone else} and invite women with PCOS on to the show to inform the nation. I doubt it will happen ~ but you never know!
 
 
While haven't PCOS isn't easy I am proud to be part of such a strong group of people!!! I love my "soulcysters"!!! 


Saturday, October 6, 2012

this week i've fallen...

 
...off every bandwagon I've been on for the past {almost} year. And I can't seem to get back on.

I can see when it started. As weird as it is, it was right around the time of the barre3 challenge. I was worried about this before I went in, that this would happen. It was too much info and trying to change too much at once. I've gotten here, to where I am now, by taking it slow and making small, conscious decisions. And I tried to change that and now I am just off.

Like, I've been sneaking spoon fulls of brown sugar - off. Eating Chex cereal dry, out of the box, by the handfuls. Last night I had baked peaches with ice cream AND popcorn. UG.

When I signed up for the challenge I figured it was just about exercising and a bit more mybarre3. Well, it was A LOT about food. Food is my nemesis. It is my weakness. It is my devil. My brain does not do well with being told "what to eat". Now, I have to say...this isn't wasn't the plan was intended to do and I know that...but this is how MY brain took it. It went into OVERDRIVE and I made lists and bought all this stuff I'd never even heard of. And then I froze. I stopped. I stopped paying attention to myself. I stopped exercising. I stopped doing my mybarre3 workouts. I stopped caring - I guess.

 
This weekend I haven't really been tempted to give up, but I have temporarily given up on myself. I hope this is my breakthrough. I feel like utter shit right now. I know the decisions I have made the past few days are going to show up on that scale. And then I think I am going to feel worse.
 
So...my new plan is to get back on my old plan. Back to doing what I had been doing to lose 49.2 pounds in 40something weeks. I'm going to try to make each of the recipies for the mybarre3 challenge in the month of October. I'm going to keep their guide and start learning more about reading labels. I'm going to invest in more whole foods than I have already been doing.
 
 
I am going to let this setback week stregthen me.
 
***1 hour later***

When I am at home I STRUGGLE to make myself exercise. I find everything else in the world to do - except exercise. It's not even working out at home - it's working out by myself. There is a VERY good reason I pay people a crazy amount of money to make me workout. I am totally a "village" type of person. I need people to know what I am doing, I need attention, I need to feel like I am in a place where people are watching me so I better do my best.

That's one of the reasons I fell off the wagon. I tried to workout at home. I knew it wasn't going to work, it never has. I even posted on Facebook that it wasn't working... And that's how you know something is real...if it's on Facebook ;-)

At this stage in my weight loss/change/game I NEED my trainer, I need my barre3 studio, I need my newest place {FloresFitness} and their TRX classes. While I don't need/want to spend a lot {really, a LOT} on it, I HAVE to. It's just how I am and I need to accept that. Maybe someday it will change but for now - I need my people!!!

Back to classes I go. Wallet in hand.

Fingers crossed.