-40 pounds....

...and a bit of looking back and forwards.

My exact words {out loud & alone in the bathroom} were F*** YES when I saw this on the scale...

I've been fighting this last 5 pounds for about 7 weeks. I know, it is good to lose 5 pounds in 7 weeks, but it was a struggle and I am happy to be there.

Why I struggled: Right after school got out I spent 5 days sitting in front of my computer working on my state ProCert, then I went to Spokane/Pullman for a long weekend to visit friends. I did okay when I came back from that and I've worked out also every single day but I was definitely snacking a bit more. Though not on too much bad stuff because I refuse to buy it! It was probably all the wine and cheese I bought while in Pullman ;-) Last week we were in MN for 9 days visiting family {ie. eating out}. But I think I did pretty good. I only had fries once and macaroni once. I skipped dessert multiple times. And I got fruit with my cheeseburger!!!

How I am going to MOVE FORWARD:

~ I need to focus on the food I am putting in my body. I want to go to a Dietitian. Not to be put on a "diet" but to really start to understand food. My PCOS specialist said I should watch the documentary called Knives Over Forks. He cautioned me to really thinking about trying to cut milk & cheese. That I am not mentally ready to do right now but I am ready to cut it back.

~ Working out. Our local Barre3 had a deal for teachers that we could pay ($99) for a one month unlimited for classes {normally $150}. My goal is to go to Barre3 3 - 4 times per week, depending on my back. I am going to still continue to train with my trainer but might start doing every other week. It is very expansive but it has been very helpful!!

~ Focus on a goal. My next weight loss goal is 170 pounds. My reward for that goal is going to be a Nike Fuel Band or a FitBit. I need to do more research about which one I want - more on that to come! They both are devices that help you monitor your calories and steps and all that good stuff. I figure when I get to the -50 pound mark I'm going to need something to keep me going.

On a positive note...I went to try on a bridesmaids dress for my cousin's wedding and I was a size 14...

almost exactly one year ago I was buying another BM dress in a size 18W and it was TIGHT.

WOW. I haven't compared these two pics before. It's harder to see because it isn't full body but man oh man I can tell {ps I"m wearing the same gurtle bra in both these pics}. My cousin's wedding this fall will be 1 day less than a year apart from when I was in my brother's wedding (purple dress). I can't wait to see those comparison pics!!!

-25 pounds...

I CANNOT believe I am down 25* pounds in 4 1/2 months. But then again, I can.

I am working HARD to do this. I am MAKING myself get out there, even if it is for a one mile walk!!

I am doing this. I will do this. I will get to my goal {whatever that may be}. Right now it is 170 but I am starting to BELIEVE I can get lower. I want to be somewhere it is easy to maintain but I suppose that is every one's weight loss goal.

I really love that I'm doing this by exercise and eating right. No fad diets - no "programs" {besides WW}. Just all natural, working out, healthy eating, eating less in quantity, eating less processed foods. Well, I should mention that I am still taking 500mg of Metformin...so I guess I am doing that but that's doctors orders ;-) And if that is what is helping me then I'm going to take it for the rest of ever!!

Fingers crossed.

*The 25 pounds is since 1.2.12 when I joined WW. The heaviest I ever got that I recorded was 22. So...when you take that in to account I've lost over 32. I think it is important to remember that...because I've come a long ways!!

-5 more lbs AND under 200lbs!!!

That's down 16 total pounds since starting WW in January and 23 since the beginning of the school year when I was at 220. DAMN it feels good!!!!!

This morning was a good weight in morning. Thanks, mostly, to this ultra-fabulous sinus infection I have.

At the bottom it does say that I'm losing weight too fast...but I know it was the sickness that helped me this week. Also, on 2/20 I started the Metformin which is the drug that is helping my body process carbs regularly. That was the last green dot on the graph. Every week since then, I have lost 2 or more pounds. I'd certainly like to think that is more than a coincidence.

I heart this visual :)

It feels SSSOOO good to be under 200 for the first time in, oh, who knows. Probably a year!!! And...I have not worn these pants in almost a year and today...

I did!!! Super pumped because I have lots of clothes that have been sitting at the top of my closet just waiting to be re-worn.

I know there will be a time when it plateau's and things get hard (but really, like it isn't already hard!!!) and it won't be this exciting so I'm going to revel in it and enjoy this ride.

On one of my other blogs I've started a "30 before 30" which is 30 things I want to do before I turn 30 - which is in 369 days! 10 of the things are "good for the body" and one of them is to workout for 30 minutes, 4 days per week which equals out to 204 days. Geesh.... A feat that I've only been able to do for a few weeks but I AM WORTH IT!!!!

- 5% goal!!!

Um, I was kind of shocked when this little message popped up on my phone after my weight in this morning!! First I was shocked that I've lost 2 pounds this week {after a trip to Burgerville and some girl scout cookies this weekend} and second I was shocked that I hit the 5% mark. I hadn't really been paying attention to the percentages but I'm happy none-the-less. And I an S.U.P.E.R. excited to be nearing the under 200lb goal of mine!! Maybe next week?!?! :)

On the bottom of the picture it says something about I'm losing weight to fast - but I really think it is because of the Metformin and the fact that I am eating significantly less carbs than ever before. Sure, I still eat them but they used to take up a huge chunk of my diet and now they are like a treat or a side and the veggies and protein's are the main focus. And it's only going to get better from here as I figure all this IR stuff out!!!

Speaking of Metformin, things have been going wonderfully. The first 3 - 4 days were pretty crappy. Two weekends ago I barely left the house I felt so sick. I had a personal training session a week ago today and there were many times during it I felt that I was going to pass our or puke or something and I was BURNING up. But I am happy to report those side affects are almost all gone. I still take it at night with a hearty meal but between that and the 50,000 IU of Vitamin D I take once a week I am feeling better than I have in a very, very, very long time.

So far so good.

Fingers crossed.

- 10 lb goal!!

I am seriously proud of myself. Today I reached 10 pounds lost in 2 months. And to think - I did it while eating almost a whole box of Tagalongs...haha. You think I'm kidding but I'm not. It is not the weight watchers way BUT I did count the points. Those things are dangerous and delicious!!!

Anyways, the feeling of losing 10 pounds has been amazing. Sometimes I think the scale s purposely playing tricks on me, like it isn't real!! My pants feel so much better, my shirts {the 1x ones I had to buy in November} are too lose, and I really just do feel proud!

Now that I've found out I am insulin resistance I'll be slowly changing things up as I learn what is going on within my body. The Metformin has been going pretty good. No horrible side affects. I've been feeling really hot from the inside-out and that was taken to a NEW level while working out with my PT, Amanda, today. There was definitely some points where I was a bit wobbly and like majorly flushed {much more than normal}...but I pushed through and got a good workout in!!

Speaking of good, I had measurements today at PTing. Now I know my weights are different and that is because I weight in for weight watchers at 6am fresh out of the shower and I weight in for PT at 6pm in workout gear and shoes. I'm personally staying with the home scale...the number is lower ;-)

So here is my measurements. This is a BIG deal to put this out there but it is my hope that by doing it I might inspire someone. It's kind of embarrassing that I got to where I got weight and size wise but I know I am not working in the right direction and I have the support of my family and friends.

The waist and the hips are the ones I am most excited about. Minus 3.75 inches from my waist and minus 4 inches from my hips. Also {much to the dismay of my husband} I've lost 2 inches on my bust ;-)

I am so happy. I feel better on the Metformin {except for when I don't - which isn't too often}, I am losing weight, I am getting into a workout routine, I am looking better. It feels nice. Really nice.

We got to Kauai in 32 days and I am going to work really hard to lose 5 more pounds and get below 200 by the time we go!!

Fingers crossed.

this waiting game...

...is killing me!!!

I just want my results. Friday I thought I was okay with not knowing but now it's bugging me.

Other than that I had my first workout in 2 weeks! Since I had a Cortizone shot 2 weeks ago I wasn't allowed by my podiatrist to do anything besides walking. Which has been a bummer since I was finally on a roll and schedule with working out.

Thankfully because of weight watchers I have actually continued to lose weight even though I wasn't working out! I can't wait to see what happens when I mix a good toe, with healthy back, and a lot of exercise!!

Fingers crossed.

-5 LB Goal!!!

Super pumped about losing 5 LBS!!

And for the record, Jason's lost 11 LBS!!

On January 2nd, before we started down the defined PCOS path Jason and I decided to start weight watchers and are determined that this will be for "life". I should mention that it was actually Jason's idea...thanks babe! We are really trying to make the changes that will stay with us forever. By choosing to do little things, one step at a time.

~ We've really been working on getting healthy this year. I started at the beginning of the school year packing lunches to save money and to choose healthier options.

~ In December I started working out with a personal trainer and she's been kicking my butt!!! She is amazing and I just signed up for 10 more sessions with her. Worth every penny. She's not only teaching me how to workout but helping me understand what to eat.

~ Since starting weight watchers, and a little bit before, what we buy has dramatically changed. Last week I came home with 4 bags of veggies and fruit, something I had certainly never done before. I have some great inspiration around me - especially in my friend Robyn. She's made such a huge change in her life and her habits, it is inspirational. My Mom is also doing WW so that helps too. When we went over there for dinner a few weekends ago she informed us we needed to save 16 points for dinner and dessert :)

I've been debating all day whether or not to put this on here, about the weight. More specifically, the number I weight. But you know what, this is part of the journey. While I am not proud of what I currently weight I now know that it is not "all my fault". Sure, some of it is. I do choose to eat carbs but I LOVE carbs and totally got caught up in that "fat free" stuff and didn't know anything about what carbs really are. I still don't but you can bet that is the next thing I am going to learn about!!

One of the "side affects" of PCOS can me unknown weight gain. This generally happens when people go off birth control and that is exactly what happened to me. Coupled with having arthritis in my back I can say that for a little bit I was less active than I used to be...but not greatly less. From what I understand, is when I went off BC I lost all those hormones that were helping to regulate me. And since I don't produce those hormones on my own, my body went into overdrive...turning carbs into fat, instead of into energy. My body has actually been doing that it's whole life...and I know everyone's body does it - mine just does it "better". Haha.

I am happy to be losing weight, happy that we can afford to change our life style, happy that Jason and I are working together to do so, and happy that I have so many people surrounding me who want to help!

I am lucky.

Fingers crossed.