2012...the year that changed my life

Well my blog friends {if is anyone out there reading this little thing anymore} it's been quite the year.

This truly is the year that has changed my life. I started out worried in January and now that it is December I am empowered! I now KNOW that I can do this ~ whatever "this" may be. 12 months ago I did not think I could do anything to change the path I was on....but my view on so many things in life has changed!

In 2012 my goal was to lose weight and inform myself about what PCOS is. I think I've done both fairly well. And you know, I don't want to spend a ton of time diving into the past. I did that a few weekends ago and it was hard to read what I'd written through the year. Or more, really, it was hard to remember what I'd really been thinking when I'd been typing.

But I can tell you this...I plan on 2013 being MY year!!

Fingers crossed...

you HAVE to be your own advocate...

...because no one is going to do it for you!!!

Part of the reason I got started on this journey is because I has someone (a friend of a friend, NOT a doctor) recognize my symptoms. I got lucky. I'd already waited about 5 years to start this process. I'd had my OB tell me to "keep waiting" even though I told her I had PCOS. UG. Okay, getting off my personal soap box. Kind of.

It really is up to you to...

You HAVE to be your own advocate. You HAVE to ask for what you want. It is up to you. Doctors {at least the ones I have seen} seem to be listening and treating less & less...and just writing perscriptions and getting you in & out. It is truly, up to you.

Case in point.

Last week I called my Endo because I wanted to re-run all my labs before my one year Endo appointment (Mid-January) so we could make some decisions at that meeting. I want to be a part of my decisions from here on out and I knew we'd me talking about if I need to stay on Metformin anymore. I left a message stating my intentions and got a message back saying that my 6 month check up had been so good they didn't think they'd need new results. It didn't sit right with me and on Monday I called again and left another message, again, about wanting to get these results. My reasons are simple. One ~ I am a data freak. I want to see that number go down and the specific levels get into the average range. Two ~ I have put SO much hard work in and I want to make sure it's working. I know it is...but I need to see it on paper. That's just how my brain works. Oh, and there's a third one ~ I've hit my Out of Pocket Maximum so the tests will be free :) But that's a small part of it. Seeing the numbers get smaller and smaller is the main reason :)

I got a message back today that they sent me all the lab slips and I will be go to go to get my labs done next week. I am SO proud of myself for asking what I really wanted. Can't wait to share (and see) the results!

 

Fingers crossed {the labs come back awesome}...

there's been a lot going on!!!

*a week off the wagon*

I had a week off the wagon, the week after Thanksgiving to be exact. I had been put on "barre3 rest" by my physical therapist because I strained my bicep tendon and kept using it so it kept hurting! For some reason...I couldn't get it together and ended up reverting back and sitting on my ass all day every day for a week. BUT I continued to eat well and didn't gain anything...

*no milk - minimal to no cheese*

For the past 2 months I've been milk free almost all of the time. There are still some items (prebought/processed) that I am sure still has milk in it but I haven't had cows milk from the carton in over 2 months. The milk was pretty easy to give up. Since I've stopped drinking cows milk I haven't had a single acne point on my scalp/in my hair. For, oh, the last 15+ years I've had acne in my hair. That's right... And now it's gone. All the way gone. I'm amazed.

 

The cheese...well, that's a different story. I've really, really {really} struggled to get off that. I've been off about 95% of the way for the past two weeks and I haven't gotten a new zit on my face since! It is amazing. My goal now is to reintroduce cheese in small, controlled amounts to see how much I can tolerate.

 

I'm not exactly sure what it is in the milk and cheese that made the acne stop. My PCOS specialist told me to try to stop - so I did. I definitely need to look more into the "why" part of it. But it's working so I'm not in a hurry ;-)

 

the cheese drawer. i pretend it isn't there.

 

*my first soy {anything}*

Last weekend we were out & about near Seattle {happy retirement to my father-in-law!!!} and stopped off at a coffee shop for breakfast. While there I decided to try my first soy hot chocolate. I needed a treat, or so I felt. And since it was a coffee shop, and not Starbucks, I decided it would be worth it. It was good...but some friends have suggested I try almond milk next time...which I will!

 

 *50th barre3 class*

On 11/19/12 I took my 50th barre3 class. It was also my last one before I was "barred from barre3". As I've written before, barre3 has changed my life. I've lost inches, pounds, and insecurities. I've gain peace, some balance, and a place I can go and be happy. There is nothing bad about barre3, nothing.

 

left: April 2012 {before barre3}

right: November 2012 {50th barre3 class day}

-17.15 inches off my body from the left picture to the right picture

 

With all that's been going on with report cards, stresses at work, stresses at home, money, Christmas, presents, and battles within myself I'm super proud of the fact that I've lost 5 pounds in the last 8 weeks. Only 4.2 pounds to go until my HUSBAND has to go to barre3!!! He agreed {well, he didn't have a choice} to join me. And two of the other instructors have volunteered their husbands too!!!

 

*standing up for what i believe in*

At the end of November there was a story about a woman named Siobhain Fletcher who ha PCOS and grew a beard for Movember...the event where men grew mustaches to support prostate cancer. I thought it was SSSOOO brave of her to stand up, speak out, and support a good cause. In my eyes she was SO brave. Brave to do it and brave to speak out about it. Then...the women of "The Talk" on CBS played this clip. I was disgusted!!! How could they make fun of this woman who was so brave? They compared her to Larry the Cable Guy. I seriously had tears in my eyes and was hoping that she will never see the clip! I said my peace on their facebook page...but I hope they take me up on my offer {or someone else} and invite women with PCOS on to the show to inform the nation. I doubt it will happen ~ but you never know!

 

 

While haven't PCOS isn't easy I am proud to be part of such a strong group of people!!! I love my "soulcysters"!!! 



so honored!!!

I was so excited to check my email the other day to see that I'd {little ole me} had been nominated for a "Very Inspiring Blogger Award". I was even more honored that it was a fellow cyster Lynne from Fighting PCOS Naturally who nominated me!!! I mean, a few weeks ago I wrote about being an inspiration...I guess others are seeing it too!!

And now that I have been nominated, it's my turn to follow suit! Here are the rules:

A) Display the award image on your blog. {check}
B) Link back to the person who nominated you. {check}
C) State 7 things about yourself.

1. I love my husband.
2. I turn the fire on year round.
3. I am a special education teacher.
4. I truly love teddy bears.
5. I am allergic to wearing perfume. I will get a stuffy nose the next day - every time.
6. I cannot wait to have my car paid off - hopefully by the end of summer.
7. I wish I could type here what I really want to say. But I won't...this will have to be good enough ;-)

D) Nominate 15 other bloggers and link to their sites. Then notify them of your nomination!
I know that I can't make it to 15 bloggers. I might not even be able to make it to 5...most of the blogs I read are foodie blogs. Though I am thankful for this opportunity and to be able to see some new {to me} blogs that are out there!!

Beth @ The B.E.T.H. Approach - She is a woman who has PCOS too and has lost weight the healthy way over time. She has been such an inspiration to me!

Lynne @ Fighting PCOS Naturally ~ I know she nominated me but what I love about Lynne is that she just says it how it is. I wish I did that. I mean, I do to my hubby, but not out here on the blog-o-sphere.

Amanda @ Impatient with PCOS ~ Amanda now has kiddos of her own but it is helpful to go back and look at her past posts to gain some information on how to battle PCOS.

I think that's all for now. I'm excited to see if the traffic from Amanda's blog helps mine at all! I definitely want to help people and inspire people. THANKS for the nomination Amanda!!!

Fingers crossed {that someone actually reads this post ;-)}...

going crazy over clothes...

I've never been one of those people who has enjoyed shopping. If I go to the mall I want to have a purpose, a list, and a time frame. I suspect part of the reason I haven't liked shopping is because for ever {and still a bit today} have hated putting on clothes. Over the years I have found various articles of clothing that have been my "go to" items/stores...but that is all starting to change and I don't know what to do.

Well, today I had a good cry over it. That's right. It's overwhelming. This whole process is overwhelming. It's exciting but it's WAY more overwhelming than exciting. It's also expensive. Really, really expensive. Especially since before the weight loss there were so few places I could fit in while still looking nice.

I know I will be able to find a lot more variety of clothes now but the one of the things that made me have my little breakdown today... bras. UG. Without going into too much detail I hate under wire and have, for the past decade, worn a no-wire bra from Lane Bryant. It is perfect. But...is doesn't fit anymore. And it feels debilitating. Shopping for jeans and shirts is getting easier but this - this is something I didn't see coming.

I was also overwhelmed because my favorite store {where I spend a TON of money} wasn't very awesome with their return policy today. And it really hurt my feelings and changed what I had expected to happen today {which always throws me off}. The jeans I was going to exchange they wouldn't take back because it had been 4 months. Well, I tell you, that same store has taken things back that are 9+ months old! I was so mad I just left all the clothes I was going to get on the counter and walked away before I said or did anything I'd regret. I'm going to go back next weekend and make sure not to get the same lady as today. I'd really like to exchange the jeans but on the drive home I realized it was silly to want to return a few of the other items I'd bought 6 - 9+ months ago. It would be nice to have that money to spend but I suppose it isn't worth the hassle. I will try to consign them and get some money out of it.

And the brighter side of doing that is that is that someone else will get the chance to wear clothes that no longer fit me but are still nice. And I'll get a little money out of the deal. That's brighter than if it just got shipped back to the company and destroyed.

Fingers crossed {that I can find a new type of bra to wear. And hopefully find it without tears}.

my shoulder...

I've never had a problem with my left shoulder...until the last few months. I {unfortunately} think it is related to all the exercise that I've been doing. It first happened months {and months} ago doing a straight arm pull down with my personal trainer. It was a move we'd done plenty of times before but this time something tweaked. I, of course, ignored it for months until it got too unbearable this summer and went to a shoulder doctor. He recommended physical therapy, which I also ignored. Bad move.

Months went by, exercises got more extreme, barre3 {where you pull off a ballet barre for par of a class} became my obsession - and my poor shoulder just kept irritating me.

I finally hit my wall a few weeks ago and headed in to see my amazing physical therapist! I was secretly just glad that it wasn't for my back but turns out my shoulder isn't doing to good! After the first session she taped me up and sent me on my way...

TK taped up!

The reason I'm writing about this is to encourage people to take care of themselves. Don't wait for months to get something worked out if you know it isn't working well. Otherwise you'll end up spending your Friday afternoons doing this...

Getting hooked up to a steroid patch that has electrodes in it to push the steroids into my shoulder.

I now know that I need to take it super easy at barre3 and make a ton of modifications but I haven't been told to stop {so I'm not going to}! Yesterday I went to a barre3 class and just took it really slow and really focused on making my insides worked. I think what's been happening is I've been trying to go faster to theoretically get better results but I think going slower is going to work better for me. It helps my muscles fire correctly and make me really pay attention to what I am doing...which I need to do anyways!!!

Take care of yourself.

Fingers crossed {that this shoulder heals quickly}...

me? inspirational??

I posted back in June about two of my inspirations and the very beginning of my journey {that I didn't know I was on} to be considered an inspiration myself. Back then, I didn't really see it or accept it or want it. But now, I believe it, accept it, and want to be an inspiration to others.

Years ago I was the lazy person who sat in front of the TV all afternoon/evening after work and a majority of the weekends. I ate almost all processed foods, fast foods, and drank SO MUCH DIET COKE. Like, 5 - 6 per DAY. No joke. I was 220 pounds, unhappy within my body, self-worth, appearance. You name it - I was probably unhappy with it.

Then, as you all know, I hit that tipping point, figured out I had PCOS and began my life change.

In the past few months I have had an almost constant feeling that I need to start doing more to spread my story. My PCOS story & my weight loss story. They really do go hand in hand. I don't want anything I say to seem like I am bragging or boasting, I really want it to feel like I am trying to inspire. Remember, I NEVER thought I could do this, and I have. And that, is amazing.

I have had a village of people supporting me but none as important as my husband. He really is a huge part of the key to my success. He's seen and heard all the tears, fears, triumphs, bad days, sweaty workouts and everything else that comes along with this journey. My favorite thing he tells me though, is that I am inspiring him!

Left ~ October 2011

Right ~ October 2012

85 pounds down between the two of us!!!

 

And it's not just my husband that I've heard from. It's doctors and friends and family and Facebook friends!!!

It's friends from middle school...

 

 

And friends from college...

 

And, would you know it, this friend has PCOS too!!! She's known for a long, long time but didn't know where to go or what to do or who to talk to. Now, we can have conversations and can support each other. She still lives in Spokane but it is do-able...

 

With all that being said...here is the main reason I even started writing this post...

 

I have volunteered to be part of an AMAZING program called Power Up with PCOS. It is a nationwide {maybe even worldwide} company that was founded by a woman named Beth who has PCOS. She was tired of having no where to turn and not being able to find what she needed {support, answers, information} and so she started her own company. I've been following and gleaning knowledge from her website for months. It kind of reminds me of Sadie at barre3 who founded that company because she believed in that exercise style. I am addicted to barre3 and living with PCOS so I definitely see the connection in my heart :)

 

After my phone interview yesterday, I just did my first "volunteer training" today so it will be a bit before I know everything and it gets off the ground but I want to start spreading the word now. I don't even know how many people read this blog - or who you are if you do - but if you know someone in Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA with PCOS send them my way...big things are in the works!!!

 

I'll have more details in the weeks to come as I learn what my role will be. I have volunteered to be a Power Up meeting leader, to start a group in my region {because there isn't one}. It is my hope that this new journey will teach me more about this syndrome I live with every day, help me to meet people with PCOS, and help anyone who is just beginning this journey. I don't claim to know everything about PCOS but I want to. I want to figure out how to best live with this. And this is the next step for me. My friend K has taught me so much about PCOS. It's really because of her that I even went to get the tests as early as I did. I want to pay it forward!!!

 

Fingers crossed {that I can handle all this and help someone else some day}...