Showing posts with label believing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label believing. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
comfortably uncomfortable....
This quote speaks volumes to me. I've been out of my comfort zones for a few months now and I have to say it is nice being comfortably uncomfortable. Or, at least, it is what I need to be doing.
Up until 4 months ago comfortable for me was coming home at 4:30 and sitting on the couch until I either made dinner or went and got dinner. Mostly, it was the latter. Comfortable was eating crackers, tortilla chips, bread, pasta, and potatoes - on a daily basis and sometime I would think it is safe to say I would eat ALL of them in one day, in fact I am quite sure I did. Comfortable used to be thinking about working out and then not doing it, looking at Craigslist to look at treadmills {knowing that I would never use it}, or buying exercise equipment/video games and never using them. Comfortable was over eating, under exercising, and being unhappy. My old comfort was 1X shirts, size 18 pants, and trying everything I could to cover up every part of my body.
My new comfort is wonderful. It is. I know I am going somewhere and I know I am changing my life. People keep telling me I am inspirational {for the record - I don't think I am}. I am changing my life to live my life. I am changing so I don't get diabetes. I am changing so that if we have children I will be able to carry them both inside and outside the womb, hold them, swing them, and be an active parent.
My new comfort is eating salads for lunch. It is not buying the crackers, chips, pastas, bread, and potatoes. Well, I buy some...but am very purposeful with my carbs now a days. It is fitting back in to pants I haven't word in 4+ years and YES, I saved some of them...though unfortunately not "THE" pair :( Regardless of, I am happy. I've had a lot of tough days but they are getting better and easier to deal with. My current comfortable is size 16 comfortably and size 14 with an inch to spare.
My new comfortable is really starting to show...people I haven't seen in months notice. And you know what, it feels damn good.
FIngers crossed {that this trend continues}.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
on believing in yourself...
I can't believe it has been almost a month since my last post. It seems like nothing and everything has changed...
Here's a bit of what I've been up too...
Today I saw this when I stepped on the scale...I actually stepped on twice because I didn't believe it...
This means just over 10% weight loss since January 2nd. It is an amazing and scary feeling. I started this journey on 1/2/12 at 213 pounds. The heaviest I'd gotten was 220. So really - it is almost 30 pounds since Oct/Nov but I'm going off the 213 from January because that's when I started WW...though I am most certainly still keeping the 220 number in my head - hoping to never get there again - unless I'm pregnant with twins ;-)
The most recent hangup for me has been a thought process I think I've just begun to come to terms with this week. I don't want to go back. Going back, to me, means getting diabetes. Sure, I still am at risk, but I'm really hoping all these changes I've been making will help me NOT get to diabetes. And if I get it, I get it, but I am doing almost everything in my power not too.
I must have really stopped believing in myself last summer/fall. Turns out, I gave away ALL of my old size 14/16 pants and shirts...and even my size 12 favorite-of-all-time goal pants. I KNOW that I didn't think I could do it and the last few days since I realized they were gone - it's been hard to not get down on myself. I did get down on myself. Like, I woke up in the middle of the nights thinking about the clothes. They were just clothes but they were more to me. They were those old pictures, the weight I was then, the memories, everything. It's tough to let go of the fact that I won't be in them again - especially when I hadn't even remembered giving them away... That's how much I wasn't paying attention to me. And my hubby made a great point - now I get to find new favorite pants and I'm excited for that - but it just isn't the same. But I need to get these thoughts out of my head!! I just remembered but last weekend I went to Coldwater Creek and returned a pair of size 18 pants I'd just bought a few months back because they were WAY too big {Don't worry - I am saving one pair of size 18's for future photo purposes}. They didn't have a 16 but damn if I didn't get those 14s to zip. Now, I can't sit down in them but I bet in a month I'll be able too.
I WILL continue to look at the positives. I WILL start to love myself more than I ever have. I WILL BELIEVE!!!
Fingers crossed.
PS. Is it totally weird to be excited for measurement with my personal trainer today?!?! Because I AM!!!
Here's a bit of what I've been up too...
Today I saw this when I stepped on the scale...I actually stepped on twice because I didn't believe it...
This means just over 10% weight loss since January 2nd. It is an amazing and scary feeling. I started this journey on 1/2/12 at 213 pounds. The heaviest I'd gotten was 220. So really - it is almost 30 pounds since Oct/Nov but I'm going off the 213 from January because that's when I started WW...though I am most certainly still keeping the 220 number in my head - hoping to never get there again - unless I'm pregnant with twins ;-)
The most recent hangup for me has been a thought process I think I've just begun to come to terms with this week. I don't want to go back. Going back, to me, means getting diabetes. Sure, I still am at risk, but I'm really hoping all these changes I've been making will help me NOT get to diabetes. And if I get it, I get it, but I am doing almost everything in my power not too.
I must have really stopped believing in myself last summer/fall. Turns out, I gave away ALL of my old size 14/16 pants and shirts...and even my size 12 favorite-of-all-time goal pants. I KNOW that I didn't think I could do it and the last few days since I realized they were gone - it's been hard to not get down on myself. I did get down on myself. Like, I woke up in the middle of the nights thinking about the clothes. They were just clothes but they were more to me. They were those old pictures, the weight I was then, the memories, everything. It's tough to let go of the fact that I won't be in them again - especially when I hadn't even remembered giving them away... That's how much I wasn't paying attention to me. And my hubby made a great point - now I get to find new favorite pants and I'm excited for that - but it just isn't the same. But I need to get these thoughts out of my head!! I just remembered but last weekend I went to Coldwater Creek and returned a pair of size 18 pants I'd just bought a few months back because they were WAY too big {Don't worry - I am saving one pair of size 18's for future photo purposes}. They didn't have a 16 but damn if I didn't get those 14s to zip. Now, I can't sit down in them but I bet in a month I'll be able too.
I WILL continue to look at the positives. I WILL start to love myself more than I ever have. I WILL BELIEVE!!!
Fingers crossed.
PS. Is it totally weird to be excited for measurement with my personal trainer today?!?! Because I AM!!!
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