Bend & my gut feeling...

I went to BEAUTIFUL Bend, Oregon for the long Memorial Day weekend with my hubby, one of my best friends & her boyfriend. We had never been, they had. We rented a little house a few blocks from downtown and definitely fell in love.

Sabrina is GF/DF because of Rheumatoid Arthritis and we eat healthy normally so we decided to bring a little bit of our own food! I brought fruit, Mary's Gone crackers, bacon, and 2 bottle of wine :) Sabrina brought veggies, hummus, chips/salsa, and eggs. During our trip we walked over 8 miles on both Saturday and Sunday on hikes and around town. It was so great to walk almost everywhere we went and I managed to get in a barre3 Bend class {or course}!!!

PDX storms barre3 Bend!

My plan for the weekend was to enjoy myself, eat what I wanted but not go crazy. Since it was our first time in Bend, which is known for great restaurants and even better breweries, I knew I'd drink beer and have a few foods off my normal plan. I don't consider this "cheating" because the definition of cheating is: getting a reward for ability by dishonest means; finding an easy way out of an unpleasant situation; or breaking the rules. Sure, I was "breaking" the barre3 challenge rules and how I eat most of the time but I believe in the 80%/20% rule and stick to it almost every day. So a few days "off" wouldn't be too bad...right?!

Sam, Sabrina, Jason & Me

My food for the weekend went a little like this...

Friday - Driving down
- 1/2 a wrap from NS and 1 pint worth of two sides from NS.
Saturday.
- Homemade eggs, bacon, fruit
- Pulled Pork with potato salad from Crux Fermentation Project
- 1 piece of pizza from 10 barrel
- 4 beers over 6+ hours
Sunday
- 3 eggs baked omelet & a bowl of fruit from Victorian Cafe
- Snacks of veggies/hummus/chips/salsa
- 1/4 of a hamburger & 1/2 serving fries from Worthy
- 3 beers over 4+ hours
Monday. Drive home
- 2 eggs with Veggies & a cup of steamed almond milk

Smith Rock

We hiked around - not up & down {risk of falling too great}

barre3 after the hike. 

I promise I did not ever have that pole in my hand during the hike!

I want to talk about my dinner on Sunday {and the real reason for this post} which left me with a weird feeling in my gut. Literally and figuratively. We went to the gorgeous brewery Worthy which is a few minutes drive away from our house & downtown Bend. They had a GORGEOUS outdoor area where we luckily got sat. It was in the sun, we had beers in our hand. And I'd been craving a cheese burger. But not any cheese burger, I knew the one I wanted from the Island Cafe in Portland but I thought any cheese burger would do. I debated for 15 minutes as to what I was going to have and decided to order a burger & fries "because I'd been craving them". Before I even ate the burger I was full from the water on our hike and snacks I'd had after it.

What I believe now is that I was craving what the old Annie would have wanted in that situation. There is still a huge part of my psyche that is the old Annie, especially when it's something I can't have often - a certain restaurant that isn't local, a beer that is only available in one location. It's the thought of not being able to get it again that drives me crazy. And that is crazy. Because feeling like crap isn't worth any food and I think I learned my lesson last weekend.

I'm going out of town for 2 full weeks {plus any additional weekends here & there} so I'll have plenty of practice eating out and making good choices. What makes me the most upset is that my barre3 family gave me SO many great ideas of healthy places to eat and since the people we were with wanted to eat at the breweries, I chose to also. I know I could have chosen something else but I didn't. Maybe next time I will...

Fingers crossed {that my choices keep getting better & better}...

PS. We cannot wait to go back to Bend ASAP!!!

new friends + their kids + us..?!

A lot of the new friends we have made in the last few years have kids. It's inevitable...seeing as we are almost all over 30. The thing is, we don't have kids and I feel like we don't get invited to do as much because of it.

I realized a bit ago that people probably think we don't want to hang around kids. Maybe even that we don't like them. But that couldn't be farther from the truth. Both Jason and I love kids. In fact, one of the reasons I first fell in love with Jason because of his love of kids.

**Time for a flashback**

In the first month of Jason and I meeting I went to watch him teach swimming lessons. He had four little 3 year old girls in his class. They were out on a deck in the middle of the water and needed to get back to the edge...and Jason knew just the way! He help his arms out in a "T" and said "Jump on" and they just into his arms, two on each. My heart instantly melted. From what I can tell from my friends it's kind of rare to have a guy be so open with little kids (keep in mind he was a 21 year old college student)! I have no doubt his years of teaching swimming and the fact that he has a zillion cousins had something to do with it!

**Back to present day**

There are a lot of people out there who I want to become better friends with who have kids. It's my goal to talk with those individuals before summer starts so that they know that we most certainly don't mind being around kids! I'm not saying I'm offering up free babysitting services BUT we'd probably do it if asked :) It would be very fun to be invited to BBQs or game evenings with our friends and their families. Since we don't know if kids are in the cards for us...we might as well enjoy other peoples kids!

With Carrie {barre3 Vancouver owner} and her kiddos at the zoo!

 

TJ, Kitty, and Nee Nee {he can't say Annie}!

It's hard to be the ones without kids when pretty much everyone else has them. It's hard because we tried for so long {another emotional post on that coming soon}. And while we don't know if kids are in our future we do hope that we can build friendships with all these new people we've met - mainly all my barre3 people!! I know a lot of people get together based on their kids ages, sports teams, etc. We don't have that luxury but we most certainly aren't opposed to hanging out with kiddos! I think I just need to be upfront about that and share our views...people probably just don't know them! Another way to make sure this happens is to invite people over to our house, kids included.

Here's to a summer {and longer} of new friends, their kids, and US!

I talk to myself...do you?

I know...it sounds weird but it is so, so true! I spend a vast majority of the day talking to myself. Not just thinking, but actually talking out loud! 

I do it because I need to. For so long I was such a negative person - talking down to myself, talking about others in negative ways, judging people I'd never met, and just basically being miserable! It wasn't a good existence. Over the last two years, as I have lost the weight, gained a love for barre3, and had to focus on myself more than ever before, I feel like I have truly changed but it hasn't been without a lot of work!

Throughout the last few years I have spent a lot of time talking to myself. It used to be all negative and sometimes still occasionally is, lets be real...we are our toughest critics. That's why this post is happening. The last two months after my second shoulder surgery have been rough. With no exact date to my barre3 ban known, a basic lack of motivation and without my friends being off of work at the same time of me - leading to boredom I'm definitely feeling deflated. Then the other day I YELLED at myself - SNAP OUT OF IT! Things aren't as bad as you think!!! And that was when I realized how negative I was being. Here's a few of the examples of how I talk to myself...

~ You just had surgery so your arms are supposed to look like that.
~ If you eat cheese, you will get zits. Don't eat the cheese.
~ You can go to the gym for an hour. If you were at your best you'd be going to barre3 for an hour. That's the same amount of time, just a different activity.
~ You don't need Burgerville. Especially when you are by yourself in the car. If you're going to eat fast food - always eat it with others to be accountable.
~ Stop avoiding something you should really be doing! {I was funneling cheese into a smaller container when I was supposed to be writing a letter of rec}
~ You've already walked for 30 minutes, turn on another Sex & The City episode and continue walking!
~ Don't text while driving. You don't want to get hurt or hurt anyone else
~ Sit up straighter.

These are just a few examples from the past few days!

Do you talk to yourself either out loud or in your head? I think we all have some sort of self talking go on - especially when it comes to foods!

Fingers crossed {that my self talk becomes more and more positive}!!!

light, camera, SMILE!

Years ago I couldn't imagine doing a workout video...much less being in one!

It's been almost a year that we've been talking about this happening! First, it was supposed to be the day after my 30th birthday {March 2012}. Then, in the summer, twice, but surgery foiled those plans. Finally...last fall we had a date for filming the workout!! I was just a few weeks shy of shoulder surgery 2.0 so I didn't use weights and was the modifier, which was fine by me!!

I was lucky enough to get to film with my mentor/idol Sadie and my fellow barre3 devotee Robyn!

Robyn, Sadie, Myself

 

We filmed down at the home office one afternoon. That meant I got to see my favorite photog, Zach, who is always so nice!! Thankfully we were only filming a 10 minute workout...just that was hard so I can't imagine filing a 60 minute one! We did it two time through and the second time was the one they used. In the first one I looked a bit like a deer about to get hit by a car.

 

It was a very surreal experience to be in a workout video. To know that thousands (if not more) people are going to view this, do this, and hear a bit about my story!! It's mind boggling.

 

 

A video of me watching the barre3 video I was in.

 

I was very emotional watching this - as you can tell by my quivering lip and labored breathing and I definitely shed some happy tears. It's very tough to put in to words what I was feeling and am feeling about this. Because I have been willing to be an open book I have had so many opportunities, many of them through barre3. I am thankful for each of them and am so happy that this amazing memory was caught on video!

 

http://www.barre3.com/videos/total-body-10/

Click on the link above to view OR DO my FREE 10 minute workout for barre3.

Leave a comment here if you do my video!!

Fingers crossed {that this might not be my last video}...

the day that I fell in love in barre3...

...well, maybe it wasn't that easy.

2 years ago I walked into barre3 Vancouver for the first time. In my memory it was "love at first sight" but my husband has other views. His views are probably more accurate. He says that I did enjoy it but I was sore for DAYS, worried about how much it costs, and just wasn't ready. I know all of that but boy, am I glad that those thoughts didn't stick.

 

It took me just about 4 months to go back to barre3. In between when I first went and April 2012 I had lost about 20 pounds, worked out with my trainer a lot, and was in a better place mentally. There was some "community free" classes which means they were free, so that was an added bonus. From then on...I was hooked!!!

Today, I am not going to barre3. I am at home resting and prepping for shoulder surgery 2.0 which is in 2 days. I went yesterday and will go tomorrow and both of those classes will be taught my owner {and one of my very favorite instructors} Carrie!

Tomorrow will be my 180th class. It will be about 14 hours before my second shoulder surgery and 208 days since my last one. It will be almost 800 days since my tipping point and will mark another 6 week set that I won't be able to go to a studio class.

Tomorrow will be emotional for many reasons but mostly because I am proud of what I have accomplished.

Fingers crossed {that my love for barre3 never dies}!!!

shoulder surgery 2.0

...and NOT happy about it.

It's officially official. I am having another shoulder surgery. It's scheduled for December 31st but if I can have it earlier I will. My DR is recommending I be out of work for an extended period of time (well over 2 months) so I'm trying to figure that out...between L&I pay, sick days, and cutting back spending now {during Christmas - haha}...we will make it but it will be stressful.

Stressful. But, as I've been reminded, this is most certainly not the worst thing I could be going through. While I am no where near happy about this, I must remember that.

This time will be a bit different. He'll have to go through scar tissue which won't be fun but what will be most noticeable...it is a different season! I'm trying to focus on figuring out how it will be in the winter.

-- I know I won't be able to drive as much because of the weather - in the summer the roads were always dry but that won't be the case now. It isn't safe for myself or the other people for me to be driving while in the sling.

-- Getting a coat on is going to be near impossible. Good thing I have nice barre3 friends! One of my barre3 friends name Regan {of Cardigans and Couture} has nicely lent me a Nike poncho. It might not be the most stylish thing but for those moments when I can't get my coat on and run to the store because I am by myself it is going to be priceless!

-- Pull On Jeans. Yes, you read that right. Turns out...they're actually a thing. In the summer I just wore yoga pants and hiking pants when we went out. I won't have the torque in my shoulder for months to button jeans! I was joking with my Mom that I needed to buy maternity pants so that I can pull up my own pants and she had an even more stylish suggestion. Jag Jeans have come to the rescue! I have to say...after surgery I might have to own a pair that are my right size. Currently, I own a size 8 because I can get them up with one hand BUT the 6's definitely make my butt look better. But since the sling is stylish enough no one will be looking at my booty ;-)

-- I already know what to expect - both good and bad. I know the pain but I also now know how GOOD being healed can feel. I had 2 glorious weeks before the injury that I could do anything I wanted and I am CRAVING that feeling again!!

Fingers crossed {that version 2.0 goes as smoothly as version 1.0}...

{30 thoughts} tomorrow

Tomorrow will be 2 years, or 731 days {yes, there was a leap year}, since I hit my tipping point.

I don't quite know how to put what I am feeling into words. So I'm going to choose one that truly sums up how I feel.

 I'M GRATEFUL FOR

{in no particular order}

 

Jason, Amanda, Mom, Dad, Sabrina, Sara, Carrie, Sadie, Kait, Danielle, the struggle, Angela {massage}, Diane {acupuncture}, Tony {chiro}, Brooke & Corinne {PT}, Robyn, books, Kim, barre3, Bree, Kathy, Cari, Robyn, FitBit, the scale, PCOS, the tape measure, Endo, PCOS doc, courage, strength, Dr Wei {shoulder}, this blog, other blogs, Instagram, Facebook, joy, Erica, Salina, Stacey, Eryn, Alison, Katie, Lynne, Wendy, Amanda, all my aunts - uncles - cousins - grandparents, cookbooks, my in-laws, weight watchers, Harper, all the barre3 home office team members, Chris L, coworkers, myself, my fear, New Seasons, my passion, my body, my mind, new opportunities {QVC, Just Jenny, b3 convention}, those who doubted me, those who encouraged me.

 

I'm sure I'll be editing and adding to this list for a day or more!

 

Fingers crossed {the next 2 years are as exciting as the last 2}!!!

{30 thoughts} sure, I'm just skinny I can cheat*

*This is not what I think of myself. Read on.

Most people are offended by cuss words but I am most certainly not one of them. There are words that to bug me and I know I am guilty of using them in the past but at the present point in my life...they just aren't my favorite.

If you look up the definition of SKINNY it says "very thin or too thin." Sure, there are people that are skinny but I am not one of them. I consider myself fit (wow, that's weird to say). Just last week someone said "look at you miss skinny minny" and I tried not to cringe. I nicely said "Ohhh, I don't consider myself skinny, I consider myself fit" and left it at that. I know they meant it is a compliment so I try to take it as one. We have been conditioned that skinny is the "right" way to be. I might be okay with the worth thin but even that doesn't apply to me. I have curves and I LOVE them...I don't want to be labeled skinny or thin - I want to be labeled FIT :)

 

This is one of the things I am not sure I ever said to myself. Every pound I lost I was happy. I might have, maybe I blocked it out. I digress. When people say they "just lost" or "only lost" X amount of pounds in X amounts of weeks I hope someday they come to realize what a feat that truly was! There is nothing wrong with losing 1 pound a week. In fact, it's better to do it that way. I lost my first 60 pounds in 60 weeks and was staggered. Now, here I am at week 104 and I have lost 79 pounds. Yes, the gap has gotten bigger but I am still happy!!

I get that everyone wants to lose weight, fast. But you know what...

 

Another word I dislike is CHEAT. As a general rule I think using the word cheating is a cop out. When people cheat {on eating, each other or a test} it is conscious choice you are making. It wasn't an accident. When I eat something that isn't "clean" or "healthy" I know what I am doing. Now, with that being said I know when I was eating unhealthy {and sometimes now} I would unconsciously over eat or binge on a food {can you say Doritos}!!! I consider the "cheat foods or meals" I have to be a part of life. Sometimes I choose to eat pizza, doughnuts, Skittles, pasta, bread, cheese, etc., though often time I don't!

 

Fingers crossed {I can maintain all of this hard work I've done}

{30 thoughts} things people say...

People say some ODD things. I know I am guilty of this too but long ago I wanted to jot some of these down. There are things people have seriously said to me.

{When we were trying to get pregnant}

My husband could just look at my and I could get pregnant.

I wish I'd have had trouble getting pregnant then I wouldn't have had three little kids at the same time.

Just relax.

It'll happen if you really want it.

I could see you guys not ever having kids.

{When I was losing weight}

 

It's just a diet. You'll be off of it by next month.

 

Don't get too skinny like ______. She doesn't look healthy now.

 

What diet pill are you taking?

 

Do you think you're really going to be able to do this?

 

Why are you doing this to yourself?

 

Some of these questions are valid, some are insane, and some are down right insulting! I good portion of these are from 2 people. But you know what...the best part of all of it - it doesn't matter! I mean, it bugs me but it doesn't affect what I am doing. I am letting all the positive praise, comments, and inquiries fill me up with joy!!!

Rise above the negative.

Fingers crossed {that I haven't accidentally said something like this to someone}!

{30 thoughts} change is hard...

...on relationships & my thought process {and more, but that's for another post}. This journey hasn't been all about weight loss. I'm truly changing every aspect of my life.

I have been mulling over how to write this post for a week. The best way...be honest. Here goes nothing {and a lot of self-reflection}.

My relationships (both family & friends) have been lop-sided in the past. I know I take a lot of energy to be with and I'm truly trying to change that. Trying to listen more and talk less {my Mom just laughed out loud}, trying to call "just because" instead of tell a certain story, to ask what others want to do instead of just suggesting what I want to do. Problem is, change is hard. I LOVE to plan, I LOVE attention, and I LOVE my family & my friends. There's the honest truth.

I had a very {very} good friend tell me the other day that she knows I am changing because she can see I am trying very hard not to talk about others behind their backs. My husband {whom I love with my whole heart} told me that he likes to be around me now more than he did in the past because I am the happiest I've been since we've been together. I'm scared to know what my Mom would say but I bet it would be good {she is my most honest critic}. The fact that my friends & family can tell me these things means the world to me. Last year I would not have reacted with a "thank you" - I would have been pissed.

My thought process is changing. Here's a weird example: someone speeds up and cuts me off. My old reaction {and my husband's current reaction} is to get pissed, honk, flip the bird, speed up, and/or etc. For the most part I now try to think something along the lines of "I hope they aren't in a hurry to get to a bad situation" or "I'm going to back off so I don't get into a wreck with them if they lose control". You know what else is changing...what I want to spend my time doing. I used to go out to HH {happy hour, for those of you not in the know} multiple times a week. Now I want to go to barre3 or on a walk most days. Sure, I wouldn't mind a HH after barre3 once in a while but lots of my friends want to go right after work which is prime barre3 time! I've found through trial & error that working out after HH isn't always the best idea. I want to spend my time with people who enrich my life and who like to be active. Don't get me wrong...I'm all for a good HH sometimes {like tonight with my new staff} but multiple times every week. It just isn't me anymore.

Fingers crossed {that these changes continue to be positive}...

{30 thoughts} How I keep myself motivated!

This quote really speaks to me. One, it's funny! Two, it's true! Which I suppose is why quotes speak to us...I digress.

Reward:
~ {noun} a thing given in recognition of one's service, effort, or achievement.

~ {verb} make a gift of something to (someone) in recognition of their services, efforts, or achievements.

 

There are many kinds of rewards and the key is to choose the best one(s) for you! Since I've been on a healthy journey my focus has been more on the tangible or experience rewards instead of the food rewards! Here's a few of my favorites!

 

- Hot pink KT tape

- A new purse (-50 pounds)

- iTunes gift cards

- a "fancy" shirt

 

My favorite type of self-motivation by making a comparison picture. If you've followed by blog for a while or have looked through it you will see that!

 

Here's my newest one...

 

Left July 2011

Right July 2013

 

Here's my first one...

 

April 2012 {minus 20 lbs}

 

You know what else is reward to me. PRAISE! VALIDATION! Who doesn't like praise? Once I started sharing my journey/pictures/story I have gotten so many likes, comments, and messages from so many people - some whom I have never met! I LOVE it. Being recognized for my hard work is SO rewarding to me. It's more rewarding than anything I could buy!

 

It just feels good to have people recognize the good changes you are making. I know that what I am doing is worth it because I will likely have a longer & healthier life but there is a huge part of me that loves the attention. There, I said it. I'm an attention junkie. I also like to give the attention back to people who are going through or have gone through the same types of situations...

 

I get SO happy when people message me on FB or Instagram and tell me that I am an inspiration. Having all these other {mainly} women who are making changes...makes me want to keep making changes too!

But you know what, the compliments that mean the most are from my family. I've had my parents, my in-laws, my husband and my brother in laws all tell me that because of what I am doing, they are making their own life changes. That, that is what it is all about. Not only making my community better, but making my family better!!!

I want that next reward item, those next comments from my comparison picture, and I want to live a healthy life. That is why I am doing what I am doing.

How do you all keep yourselves motivated?

Fingers crossed {that maybe I'm inspiring you}...

{30 thoughts} it's not all sunshine & rainbows!

I have been inspired by two of my favorite bloggers, Chelsea & Cardigans and Couture, who have been "keeping it real" in some of their recent blog posts!! I tend to post the happy milestones, the "good for me" pictures of food, and positive words of encouragement. But, as we all know, life isn't all sunshine and rainbows {though I wish it was}!!!

Here's some {funny} things I've done over these past 23 months. I use the term funny, loosely in most of these instances.

- Sometimes I think that if no one sees me eat something, it doesn't count.

- I drive around the block 2 times when I feel the urge for fast food. Usually by the time that is done, I don't have that craving anymore.

- I eat brown sugar out of the storage container. Not every day but usually every week.

- I eat cheese when I know I shouldn't. Sometimes getting a zit is worth the taste.

- I learned what buckwheat, quinoa, stevia, and so many more food items are.

- Skittles. Enough said.

- I have been known to eat crutons when there aren't craackers in the house. I just need that crunch. Though I'm pretty sure crutons aren't healthy for you but it goes on salad so...yeah...

- Occasionally (well, often if I was telling the truth) I grab my stomach and jiggle/wiggle it around.

- There are 4 "health" books that are sitting on my shelf with book marks about 1/4 of the way through them. 50 Shades of Grey is more entertaining!!

- The first time I took a picture of the scale I didn't realize it was glass (and that I take my pictures directly after getting out of the shower). Think reflection. I almost posted it but noticed it just in the nick of time!

- Since shoulder surgery I have been sleeping in a nightshirt. Yes, the button up the front kind. I needed to sleep in one so the sling didn't rub my skin raw. I am now addicted to mine - much to my husband's dismay.

- I now check my butt out in any reflective surface.

- When food in the Ziploc containers gets moldy, I throw them away. 

- I still eat pizza & doughnuts. And that's okay, sometimes.

- Every few months I think I'll be able to handle having "snack food" in the house. This usually means crunchy snacks {not chips, more like NutThins}. I cannot have these in the house. I will eat the whole box - in one day. No joke.

- I day dream about the food I used to eat.

- I like looking in the mirror and making my collar bones show. I'm plotting what shirt I can wear on Friday for school pictures that will enable my collar bones to show.

Fingers crossed {that there are more sunshine & rainbow moments than not}...

23 months later...

Today marks the 23 month mark since my tipping point. 1 month to go until I hit the 2 year mark...check back to the blog frequently...there's going to be a LOT going on this month!!!

I've mentioned it and told the story but I have never, ever {not even on Facebook} shared these pictures! I had to DIG them off of my PC which gets used about 5 times a year.

This is what I made for the party. Butter ridden witches fingers cookies with Oreo cookies crushed at the bottom!

 

Jason and I. I remember the reason I went as a devil was because I could wear regular clothes and just add a few things to do and it would be a costume. I didn't fit into regular costumes, I wouldn't have been comfortable in them! I wore a size 1X black button up shirt with a size 1X red tank top paired with size 18W jeans. I still have this outfit, or at least the pants!

 

 

Sabrina and I.

 

This next picture shocks me!! It's the girth of my body. From the front I got used to how hold or pose my body. The side view is very, very, very unforgiving.

{click on this picture to enlarge it. it will shock you. it made me cry.}

 

Picture this. I'm at a Halloween party with my coworkers. Two of them are talking about how, when they were pregnant, they got around or over 200 pounds. And it wasn't like they were just stating that as a number, there were comments (unknowing of my weight) about how they couldn't imagine being that weight without being pregnant. Now imagine my thoughts as I'm standing there, not pregnant, at what I knew was likely over 200 pounds. It wasn't a good conversation going on in my head. I actually stopped drinking because I knew if I didn't I'd say something I'd regret. I was standing there, amongst my friends, totally self-loathing myself. UG. It was one of the worst feelings in the world. Looking back, that moment, was one of my lowest moments and I didn't want to feel like that anymore. I needed to change. I went home that night, got the scale out from the box under the bed {where it had been in hiding} and stepped on. I wish I'd taken a picture but I know without a shadow of a doubt it said 220 pounds. They know they are part of my journey. They didn't know for a while but at the one year mark I wrote them thank you notes because I am thankful.

 

Danielle and I

 

She's one of the two reasons I had this tipping point of mine. Afterwards she has been one of my biggest supporters. She convinced me I could do the Spartan Race (which I had to skip because of shoulder surgery), she brought me new foods to try & was always willing to be a workout buddy - even when my pace was much slower than hers! I am so appreciative of her friendship!

 

That day seems like so long ago but I remember every detail of it like it was yesterday. I think I would have eventually had tipping point. I mean, you'd think I'd have had to. We will never know. What I do know is that I am thankful for this day.

 

I am thankful for the courage, strength, knowledge, body acceptance, friends, opportunities, skills, body, inspirations, tears, chances, and life this night has given to me.

 

When I've told my story, especially to people that I know are likely struggling with weight themselves, I try to remember how I felt. I have told this story to many people and it is my sincere hope that I have not hurt any of their feelings...yet sparked something inside of them. I know weight isn't an easy thing to talk about and people have to be ready, most of the time. I've been told a few times that that is indeed the case, it's the other times I'm not as sure as!

 

Fingers crossed {that I can be some one's inspiration}!!!