Thursday, March 1, 2012

i heart waiting {not}...

This quote is so true and so not true at the same time.

The questions and tests I've been through and have been complicated and yes, the answer will be simple. It will either be PCOS or L-O CAH. That much is simple, and that is where the simplicity ends.

Though I suppose then that is where another set of questions begins and I'm not sure those answers are simple. I've been trying not to dwell on what I do not yet know but it has been hard. Like, really hard. I am totally a worst case scenario type of person. It's not something I love about myself...

I called OHSU today to see if they'd even gotten the results back from where ever they had to be sent to. I haven't heard back from her and I hope to tomorrow. Sharon at OHSU was always pretty quick at returning calls. I might also just give in and call my Endo. I don't want to be a bother but I really want to know. I want to know before the weekend so, if I need it, I can use it to process. Since this will be the "result of all results" I might need more time to cope than I did last time.

Though I feel like this time around I am prepared for news. I think my first breakdown was after I found about that I have great insurance - for everything except infertility. When I found out about the PCOS/IR/more testing I didn't initally have a breakdown. I was kind of waiting for it but it came in little spurts over many weeks, hitting me at some of the most random times. It quickly turned from fear and worry to empowerment and worry.

I'm ready for the news and to start the newest {read: toughest, scariest, craziest, worrisome, semi-conclusive, } part of my with some sort of endocrine syndrome. Well, make that 2 endocrine systems. One is Insulin Resistance and one is...well, hopefully we'll know tomorrow.

Fingers crossed.

No comments:

Post a Comment