the road to gaining information...

I'd like to start out saying that today I felt good about things. Not good in the sense that I'm happy about it, but good in the sense that I know what is going on - or at least I'm going to know a whole lot more by the beginning of next week. Kind of like this picture. It's been up hill from here and after this week, it still will be up hill - it will be one filled with knowledge.

I took control today and called the Endo office to ask about lab results. I was afraid that they might have the "oh geeeeez" attitude. But it was totally the opposite!! I explained who I was and how I'd never gotten results back and just wanted to know the procedure. Does the doctor call you? Send a letter? What?

The office manager I talked to was so kind and after I told her I'd be getting both my tests done this week she said odds are the doctor would let me know by Friday. She said if I hadn't heard by Monday to go ahead and give them a call back! She assured me that I can call as often as I'd like to check on stuff. I got the feeling that she was genuinely happy to help.

Happy to be a patient there.

Not happy about having to drink 72oz of water in 30 minutes tomorrow but I am happy to be {FINALLY} having an ultrasound.

Fingers crossed.

-5 LB Goal!!!

Super pumped about losing 5 LBS!!

And for the record, Jason's lost 11 LBS!!

On January 2nd, before we started down the defined PCOS path Jason and I decided to start weight watchers and are determined that this will be for "life". I should mention that it was actually Jason's idea...thanks babe! We are really trying to make the changes that will stay with us forever. By choosing to do little things, one step at a time.

~ We've really been working on getting healthy this year. I started at the beginning of the school year packing lunches to save money and to choose healthier options.

~ In December I started working out with a personal trainer and she's been kicking my butt!!! She is amazing and I just signed up for 10 more sessions with her. Worth every penny. She's not only teaching me how to workout but helping me understand what to eat.

~ Since starting weight watchers, and a little bit before, what we buy has dramatically changed. Last week I came home with 4 bags of veggies and fruit, something I had certainly never done before. I have some great inspiration around me - especially in my friend Robyn. She's made such a huge change in her life and her habits, it is inspirational. My Mom is also doing WW so that helps too. When we went over there for dinner a few weekends ago she informed us we needed to save 16 points for dinner and dessert :)

I've been debating all day whether or not to put this on here, about the weight. More specifically, the number I weight. But you know what, this is part of the journey. While I am not proud of what I currently weight I now know that it is not "all my fault". Sure, some of it is. I do choose to eat carbs but I LOVE carbs and totally got caught up in that "fat free" stuff and didn't know anything about what carbs really are. I still don't but you can bet that is the next thing I am going to learn about!!

One of the "side affects" of PCOS can me unknown weight gain. This generally happens when people go off birth control and that is exactly what happened to me. Coupled with having arthritis in my back I can say that for a little bit I was less active than I used to be...but not greatly less. From what I understand, is when I went off BC I lost all those hormones that were helping to regulate me. And since I don't produce those hormones on my own, my body went into overdrive...turning carbs into fat, instead of into energy. My body has actually been doing that it's whole life...and I know everyone's body does it - mine just does it "better". Haha.

I am happy to be losing weight, happy that we can afford to change our life style, happy that Jason and I are working together to do so, and happy that I have so many people surrounding me who want to help!

I am lucky.

Fingers crossed.

I {think}...

...I may be starting to get over my fear of needles. THNK being the key word!! I have no doubt that will change when I have a bad experience again...because it is bound to happen.

It might have helped that I had to do this. Well, come to think of it, I've never gotten my blood drawn voluntarily. I'm not crazy!! I had 3 different people draw my blood - number two was the best. I should have written down her name to make sure I can get her in the future ;-)

I had made a 7am appointment to ensure I wouldn't have to be too hungry in my waking hours since it was a 12 hour fasting 0-hour blood draw with 2 additional blood draws at 1-hour and 2-hours. They ended up getting me in at 7:30 and they explained the delay to the fact that they needed two people because they were drawing so much blood the first time. Imagine my amusement.

At the 0-hour blood draw they took nine, yes 9, vials of blood. My Endo had written orders not only for glucose but a myriad of other things {which is good} so they needed to take a lot!

Next came the part that, second to the needles, I was most dreading. The glucose drink. I'd heard some horror stories...I was given the orange flavor which it what I was going to choose anyways. 75mg later I was certainly not wanting to drink that liquid every day but the orange wasn't bad. Just tasted like an orange Hi-C.

2 nurses. 1 orange glucose drink. And 1 little tiny teddy bear Jason gave to me years ago for the specific reason that if he can't be at scary appointments, I can hold onto it. It lives in my purse 24/7 :)

PS. For the benefit of my Dad {who makes fun of me for having my phone & always taking pictures} I would like to inform you that I was listening to music with my phone because they told me it would talk about 2-3 minutes to get all the blood. I needed a distraction!!

After that was over I was given instructions on a very specific time to come back. I set my iPhone alarm for 5 minutes before the next draw, as I was not going to sit right outside the lab. It was cold there. I headed for some comfy {well, as comfy as hospital couches can be} couches just around the corner in the lobby. I passed the time by watching Red Riding Hood on my iPhone. And thanks to an awesome Christmas present from my Mom, I was able to just lay it on the couch next to me and not have to hold in the whole time. Thanks Mom.

See the little pink bulb? It props up your phone! Snazzy huh?!?

Apart from the needles and the drink, I was worried about getting the draw at exactly 1 hour. I mean, I really thought they'd mess it up since I didn't just sit back there in the lab. They must have had a timer or something...and I was pleasantly surprised that I not once had to go up to the window and tell them my time was in 2 minutes!!

So I do not know the results yet since I decided to do the blood draws at a hospital near me. It really doesn't matter though because my Endo's office doesn't do them so regardless of where I had it done I would have had to wait. {My Endo is in Portland, for the record}. Keeping on my {new} pace of making sure things happen I'm going to call my Endo tomorrow just to see how this all work when I get out of office labs done. Does she call me? Do I need an appointment?

I'm having an ultrasound on Wednesday.

Fingers Crossed.

PS. Teen Mom isn't the best show to watch when you're tired and all you want is to be able to get pregnant. Just saying.

first book, first sense of relief...

I've been nose deep in this book for almost a week. I had borrowed it from my friend K and once I got the diagnosis I ordered myself a copy so I can obsessively take notes and write in it. I'm about 1/3 of the way through it and I feel like my life is written in the pages. It is so hard for me to explain.

Everything I've ever thought about myself - overweight, acne, oily, no MC to speak of - I made excuses for. I'm overweight because I eat too much, the stuff I eat makes me have acne, I'm oily simply because that is how I am. I know now that it is because I have PCOS. Knowing gives me relief and strength and knowledge.

It is helping me to really understand that I am my best advocate, that I am not "normal" but there are things I can learn and change to make my body work better for me. And most surprisingly, I have learned that I have WONDERFUL people in my life!!

My Mom has already stated she wants to read the same books I do, my Aunt (the mother of my cousin who has PCOS) spent an hour talking to me on the phone and asking great questions, one of my best friends spent some time researching low-carb diets and recommended another book that I will soon be reading. She's read it (she does not have PCOS but is very into healthy food and living). I've had many of my coworkers offer support and encouragement and shown a desire to learn more right along side with me. Many of my other friends have offered a listening ear. It means the world to me.

I am determined to learn to live with PCOS and battle whatever hurdles for having a family that they may bring. I feel better the more people I have working with me, thinking about me, and of course, keeping their...

Fingers crossed.

PS. Tomorrow I have the 2 hour Glucose test. Wish me luck!!!

hello...

...my name is Annie and I have PCOS.

I made a new page, which you can find in a tab across the top, where I started beginning to write down dates and events that happened that have left me here - blogging about my life with PCOS. The "my background" page is where you can see the signs I should have seen.

My goal is to be as honest as possible while still remembering that the Internet is an open place. But I have been feeling this STRONG urge to get my story out of my mind and into the world. You, I am sure, will notice over time that I am not a religious person so whenever I talk of feeling urges or pulls or desires - they come from within and the strength I feel from my family and friends. Just wanted to get that out there. Phew.

Even if you don't have PCOS you probably know someone who does, or might, or will.
They say PCOS affects 1 of every 10 women. Funny story about that...in college I had a total of 9 roommates over 5 years. ALL {no, I am not making that up} of them have babies - except me.

Fingers crossed.

at a baby shower...

...and one of two there without kids. No joke.

I went to a baby shower yestreday. It's a great friend of mine, we worked together both of our first-ish years out of college and have remained friends for the last 5 years despite living across the state from each other.

I am happy for her and her husband, I am. Though they didn't have to plan or doing anything besides "try".

At this shower there was SO many babies!! Like, I would say 7 babies under the age of one. And since I was just a friend at a family baby shower I couldn't really pick up the random {aka cute, pudgy, happy} babies. All they were all baby girls...all of them. Except for the one my friend is growing. He'll be a boy. It was a somber afternoon for me. And made even more somber by the facts that I drove 2.5 hours up and 2.5 hours back - that is a LOT of think time!!

I actually had some very good conversations with some friends and family on the way up and back. I really do have a very good and positive support group behind me. I called one friend who is really into healthy food and was chatting with her about that and within a few hours I had some links (that I'd asked for) in my Inbox.

It's the little things.

Fingers crossed.

and so it starts...

I am in week 1.2 of learning about PCOS. I don't know much...and I'm learning a lot. I am not an expert and any information I post or share or state is what I think, at this current point in time. Obviously my knowledge and understanding of this will all change, it has to change, and that is what I'm doing here. Documenting what I learn and am going through.

I'm just putting this out there so that I don't get slammed as "pretending to know" or anything like that.

You should also know this about me, I worry, a lot. It doesn't mesh well with pretty much anything in life...and I bet PCOS is no exception!!

My journey into PCOS started years ago but it is just now falling into place. More on the story later, probably tomorrow, since the story is dying to get out of me!!

Fingers crossed.

to blog here or not to blog here...

...that is the question.

I have a few other blogs. Three to be exact.

- One for our family events. And let me be clear that by family I mean my hubby, myself and our weird cat. I even named it, when I made it back in 2009, when we got married and included the word family...thinking that a family would be an easy thing to come by. Though we are a family, we want more.

- One for my homemaking endeavors. Originally thought out to be more about baking cakes but it has turned into a catch-all for my mediocre crafting, baking, cooking, and decorating skills.

- One for the "picture a day for a year" bandwagon things I jumped on in the start of 2010. I made it through September of that year...which I'd say is pretty good. This year I hope it make it all the way through.

The blog name, I knew, had to have something about rainbows in it. I've been known to pull off the freeway to take pictures of rainbows. I hunt for them, long for them, and marvel in them whenever I get the chance. If I ever had the guts to get a tattoo it would be something with a rainbow in it. In HS I always wanted a rainbow of starts...6 perfect little stars in a row, rainbow style!! The background picture is from my hubby and I'd first trip to Oahu in 2007 with my family.

I want this to be a blog, for however long it may need to be here, to write down my thoughts, battles, and directives of living and learning and loving with PCOS.

I was thinking about posting the news on our family blog but I want to continue to have a happy, fun place to document the events in our lives. I have this gut instinct that it is going to be a long process and I think I do want to keep them separate. So...welcome to my newest (and least exciting) blog.

Fingers crossed.