Wednesday, October 9, 2013

{30 thoughts} change is hard...

...on relationships & my thought process {and more, but that's for another post}. This journey hasn't been all about weight loss. I'm truly changing every aspect of my life.

I have been mulling over how to write this post for a week. The best honest. Here goes nothing {and a lot of self-reflection}.

My relationships (both family & friends) have been lop-sided in the past. I know I take a lot of energy to be with and I'm truly trying to change that. Trying to listen more and talk less {my Mom just laughed out loud}, trying to call "just because" instead of tell a certain story, to ask what others want to do instead of just suggesting what I want to do. Problem is, change is hard. I LOVE to plan, I LOVE attention, and I LOVE my family & my friends. There's the honest truth.

I had a very {very} good friend tell me the other day that she knows I am changing because she can see I am trying very hard not to talk about others behind their backs. My husband {whom I love with my whole heart} told me that he likes to be around me now more than he did in the past because I am the happiest I've been since we've been together. I'm scared to know what my Mom would say but I bet it would be good {she is my most honest critic}. The fact that my friends & family can tell me these things means the world to me. Last year I would not have reacted with a "thank you" - I would have been pissed.

My thought process is changing. Here's a weird example: someone speeds up and cuts me off. My old reaction {and my husband's current reaction} is to get pissed, honk, flip the bird, speed up, and/or etc. For the most part I now try to think something along the lines of "I hope they aren't in a hurry to get to a bad situation" or "I'm going to back off so I don't get into a wreck with them if they lose control". You know what else is changing...what I want to spend my time doing. I used to go out to HH {happy hour, for those of you not in the know} multiple times a week. Now I want to go to barre3 or on a walk most days. Sure, I wouldn't mind a HH after barre3 once in a while but lots of my friends want to go right after work which is prime barre3 time! I've found through trial & error that working out after HH isn't always the best idea. I want to spend my time with people who enrich my life and who like to be active. Don't get me wrong...I'm all for a good HH sometimes {like tonight with my new staff} but multiple times every week. It just isn't me anymore.

Fingers crossed {that these changes continue to be positive}...

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